This is a magnificent riposte, very clever and very true.
Excuse us, Mr Grey,
We’d like to have a word.
All this ‘Mummy Porn’ you’ve spawned,
Is really quite absurd.
Fifty Shades of fear –
There’s no need to domineer.
Since when was bruising girls alright?
Bed partners should be equal.
What a load of literary shite:
Won’t bother with the sequel.
Fifty Shades of bin the whips –
There’s other ways to get your kicks.
This craze for sub-dom sex
Is really just insanity.
It makes our bottoms sore,
And causes expletive profanity.
Fifty Shades of erotica –
Leaves us needing arnica.
Despite the cash & private jets,
Egoistic bondage is bestial & mean.
Nipple clamps do nothing for us:
You can keep your sado’ dream.
Fifty Shades of all f***ed up,
We’d make you tear that contract up.
A man that makes us laugh
Is all it takes to get it right.
Loving arms and honest eyes,
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